Funny Tales from UNITED ABROAD

One the funniest incidents I’ve  had supporting United: Five of us drove to Barcelona away in the Champions League when we lost 4-0 in 1994…No excuses really but the ‘three plus two’ rule for non english players didn’t help that night, no Eric Cantona or Peter Schmeichel is going to affect any team.. after a hiding like that we definately needed something to make us laugh. We’d spent a miserable night in Barca drowning our sorrows after the match and set off the next morning  driving up through the Pyrenees heading for Toulouse where we were to catch the French Autorail train to Paris.We loaded on the car and settled into our ‘Six’ birth couchette (three bunk beds on each side), My twin  Paul and I both baggsied (shotgunned ) the top bunks.. unfortunately as there was only 5 of us, and the train being full the spare bed had to be taken…. so in there wisdom the french railways gave the spare bunk to some French bird, she was a real fitty..But made out she couldn’t speak English. You can guess what happened!  we are all saying  “Oh its me she fancies”  the silly childish chat and ribaldry continued with the odd grunt followed by giggling, sad behaviour for five middle aged men but its got to be done.

Eventually the lights  were switched off and we  started to drift off to sleep.. Well into the middle of the night  I’m awoken by the sound of my brothers voice and the light going on,    “ Oi whats your Fucking Game”  he shouts, I look across at his bunk only to see some seventy year old bloke in his pyjamas  trying to get into his bed, It still makes me smile when I think about it now, the silly old git had been to the toilet and come into the wrong compartment. We asked him  why he’d let the bloke actually get into bed, he says he saw someone climbing the ladders in the darkness and thought it was the French bird.

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